4 Magic Questions That Are Solving Student Conflicts

🕵️ PD Intelligencer - NOV 23 2024

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ONE BIG IDEA

The End Of Endless Discipline

Imagine walking into your classroom tomorrow morning.

A conflict breaks out between two students.

But instead of the usual drama, something different happens.

One student takes a deep breath and says, "I feel hurt because..."

The other student actually listens.

Together, they work it out.

Sounds like magic? That's Restorative Practices in action. 🌟

What's Different About Restorative Practices?

Let's be honest – traditional discipline often looks like this:

• Student misbehaves
• Teacher assigns punishment
• Student returns, often angry
• Nothing really changes
• Cycle repeats

We keep using this system, yet we keep getting the same results. Einstein called this insanity.

Restorative Practices offers a different path. Instead of punishment, it focuses on:

• Understanding the 'why' behind behavior
• Healing damaged relationships
• Teaching emotional intelligence
• Building stronger communities
• Creating lasting change

💡 Think of it like this: Traditional discipline is like putting a bandaid on a broken bone.

Restorative Practices is like actually setting the bone and helping it heal stronger than before.

why Should You Care About Restorative practices?

Because the evidence is clear: Restorative Practices work. 📊

Let's look at what's happening in classrooms right now:

The Challenge Today

• Picture your typical teaching week.
• Now imagine losing an entire day of it.
• That's exactly what's happening.

Teachers spend much of their instructional time managing classroom behavior.

That's time each week lost to discipline instead of teaching.

The Old Way Isn't Working.

• Traditional punitive approaches make things worse.
• A single suspension can raise a student's chances of dropping out.
• Each suspension pushes students further away.
• Academic performance suffers.
• School climate deteriorates.

Real Success Stories

But there's hope.

Schools using Restorative Practices are seeing positive changes.

Pittsburgh Public Schools achieved these results with restorative practices:

• Average suspension rate decrease when implementing restorative practices.
• School climate improved 
• Students experienced more school days - less suspensions & less transfers

Restorative Practices aren't just another education trend.

They're a proven path to transformation.

And it starts in your classroom. ⭐

How to Get Started with Restorative Practices in the Classroom

These aren't just nice ideas – they're practical tools you can use tomorrow morning.

1. Morning Circle Magic ⭕

Start small:

• 10 minutes before lessons begin
• Everyone sits in a circle (including you!)
• Pass around a special object (talking piece)
• Ask one engaging question:
  • "What's one thing you're proud of?"
  • "Who helped you yesterday?"
  • "What's your goal for today?"

Pro tip: Keep a jar of circle questions ready. Let students add their own.

2. Conflict Resolution Superheros 🦸‍♀️

Create a simple system:

• Designate a "peace corner" with:
  • Comfortable seating
  • Feeling charts
  • Resolution prompt cards
  • Timer (conflicts need boundaries!)
• Teach these four magic questions:
  1. "What happened?"
  2. "What were you thinking/feeling?"
  3. "Who was affected?"
  4. "How can we make it right?"

Success secret: Model these conversations yourself. Show students how to handle small conflicts first.

3. Emotional Check-Ins 🎯

Quick tools for busy days:

• Color scale emotions (Red = angry, Blue = sad, Yellow = happy)
• Number line feelings (1-5: How ready are you to learn?)
• Emoji responses (Perfect for younger students!)
• Battery Level Check ("My energy is at 80% charged today")

Pro Tip: Place a poster by the door for students to indicate their check-in, providing instant insight without interrupting your morning routine.

Extending Restorative Practices To The Wider School Community

Restorative Practices isn't just a classroom tool.

It's a whole-school transformation.

Here's how your school community can embrace the change.

Leadership Team: Setting the Tone 👥

Your admin team holds the key to school-wide success.

• Transform traditional disciplinary meetings into opportunities for growth.

• Swap the "principal's office" with inclusive restorative conferences that include all parties.

• When leaders model restorative conversations in staff meetings and daily interactions, the whole school culture shifts.

Pro Tip: Create a "Reset Room" – not detention, but a calm space where students can reflect and process with trained staff.

Counseling Team: Building Bridges 🌉

School counselors become your restorative practice champions. They can:

• Lead small group circles for specific issues
• Train student leaders as peer mediators, and support teachers in difficult conversations.

Their expertise in social-emotional learning makes them perfect partners in building a restorative community.

Support Staff: The Hidden Heroes 🌟

Those crucial first and last moments of the school day? That's where your support staff shines.

• Try this simple CARE conversation framework: 

• Connect: "Hey Sam, I notice you seem frustrated this morning."

• Ask: "What happened that's making you feel this way?"

• Reflect: "That sounds really challenging."

• Explore: "What do you need to have a better day?

These small moments build the relationships that make students want to do better.

Parents and Community: Extending the Impact 🏘️

Real transformation happens when restorative practices reach beyond school walls.

• Invite parents to learn basic restorative questions and practice these skills at home.

• Involving parents in restorative conferences significantly reduces recurring behavioral issues.

• Why? Because the change continues at home.

Remember: Every staff member influences student success. Embrace restorative practices school-wide for quicker transformation. 

Begin with small steps, celebrate achievements, and witness your school culture evolve.