4 min read
4 Magic Questions That Are Solving Student Conflicts
Damon Torgerson : Nov 23, 2024 2:00:00 AM

๐ต๏ธ PD Intelligencer - NOV 23 2024
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โ Classroom Teacher / Mathematics Middle School Math Teacher at South Valley Academy, Alburquerque, NM
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ONE BIG IDEA
The End Of Endless Discipline
Imagine walking into your classroom tomorrow morning.
A conflict breaks out between two students.
But instead of the usual drama, something different happens.
One student takes a deep breath and says, "I feel hurt because..."
The other student actually listens.
Together, they work it out.
Sounds like magic? That's Restorative Practices in action. ๐
What's Different About Restorative Practices?
Let's be honest โ traditional discipline often looks like this:
- Student misbehaves
- Teacher assigns punishment
- Student returns, often angry
- Nothing really changes
- Cycle repeats
We keep using this system, yet we keep getting the same results. Einstein called this insanity.
Restorative Practices offers a different path. Instead of punishment, it focuses on:
- Understanding the 'why' behind behavior
- Healing damaged relationships
- Teaching emotional intelligence
- Building stronger communities
- Creating lasting change
๐ก Think of it like this: Traditional discipline is like putting a bandaid on a broken bone.
Restorative Practices is like actually setting the bone and helping it heal stronger than before.
why Should You Care About Restorative practices?
Because the evidence is clear: Restorative Practices work. ๐
Let's look at what's happening in classrooms right now:
The Challenge Today
- Picture your typical teaching week.
- Now imagine losing an entire day of it.
- That's exactly what's happening.
Teachers spend much of their instructional time managing classroom behavior.
That's time each week lost to discipline instead of teaching.
The Old Way Isn't Working.
- Traditional punitive approaches make things worse.
- A single suspension can raise a student's chances of dropping out.
- Each suspension pushes students further away.
- Academic performance suffers.
- School climate deteriorates.
Real Success Stories
But there's hope.
Schools using Restorative Practices are seeing positive changes.
Pittsburgh Public Schools achieved these results with restorative practices:
- Average suspension rate decrease when implementing restorative practices.
- School climate improved
- Students experienced more school days - less suspensions & less transfers
Restorative Practices aren't just another education trend.
They're a proven path to transformation.
And it starts in your classroom. โญ
How to Get Started with Restorative Practices in the Classroom
These aren't just nice ideas โ they're practical tools you can use tomorrow morning.
1. Morning Circle Magic โญ
Start small:
- 10 minutes before lessons begin
- Everyone sits in a circle (including you!)
- Pass around a special object (talking piece)
- Ask one engaging question:
- "What's one thing you're proud of?"
- "Who helped you yesterday?"
- "What's your goal for today?"
Pro tip: Keep a jar of circle questions ready. Let students add their own.
2. Conflict Resolution Superheros ๐ฆธโโ๏ธ
Create a simple system:
- Designate a "peace corner" with:
- Comfortable seating
- Feeling charts
- Resolution prompt cards
- Timer (conflicts need boundaries!)
- Teach these four magic questions:
- "What happened?"
- "What were you thinking/feeling?"
- "Who was affected?"
- "How can we make it right?"
Success secret: Model these conversations yourself. Show students how to handle small conflicts first.
3. Emotional Check-Ins ๐ฏ
Quick tools for busy days:
- Color scale emotions (Red = angry, Blue = sad, Yellow = happy)
- Number line feelings (1-5: How ready are you to learn?)
- Emoji responses (Perfect for younger students!)
- Battery Level Check ("My energy is at 80% charged today")
Pro Tip: Place a poster by the door for students to indicate their check-in, providing instant insight without interrupting your morning routine.
Extending Restorative Practices To The Wider School Community
Restorative Practices isn't just a classroom tool.
It's a whole-school transformation.
Here's how your school community can embrace the change.
Leadership Team: Setting the Tone ๐ฅ
Your admin team holds the key to school-wide success.
- Transform traditional disciplinary meetings into opportunities for growth.
-
Swap the "principal's office" with inclusive restorative conferences that include all parties.
-
When leaders model restorative conversations in staff meetings and daily interactions, the whole school culture shifts.
Pro Tip: Create a "Reset Room" โ not detention, but a calm space where students can reflect and process with trained staff.
Counseling Team: Building Bridges ๐
School counselors become your restorative practice champions. They can:
- Lead small group circles for specific issues
- Train student leaders as peer mediators, and support teachers in difficult conversations.
Their expertise in social-emotional learning makes them perfect partners in building a restorative community.
Support Staff: The Hidden Heroes ๐
Those crucial first and last moments of the school day? That's where your support staff shines.
-
Try this simple CARE conversation framework:
-
Connect: "Hey Sam, I notice you seem frustrated this morning."
-
Ask: "What happened that's making you feel this way?"
-
Reflect: "That sounds really challenging."
-
Explore: "What do you need to have a better day?
These small moments build the relationships that make students want to do better.
Parents and Community: Extending the Impact ๐๏ธ
Real transformation happens when restorative practices reach beyond school walls.
- Invite parents to learn basic restorative questions and practice these skills at home.
-
Involving parents in restorative conferences significantly reduces recurring behavioral issues.
- Why? Because the change continues at home.
Remember: Every staff member influences student success. Embrace restorative practices school-wide for quicker transformation.
Begin with small steps, celebrate achievements, and witness your school culture evolve.
Addressing District Leadership Concerns
โRisk: But what about accountability?
Restorative Practices actually increases accountability by making students face the impact of their actions.
It's harder to look someone in the eye and hear how you hurt them than to just serve detention.
โRisk: We don't have time for this!
Start small. One morning circle. One restorative conversation.
The time you invest now saves hours of dealing with repeated conflicts later.
โRisk: Our teachers are already overwhelmed!
That's exactly why you need this. Restorative Practices reduces teacher stress by creating stronger classroom communities and fewer disruptions.
Remember: Every great journey starts with a single step.
Your restorative journey begins now. ๐
UNTIL NEXT WEEK
Before you go: Here is how we can help
Alludo - we have helped district leaders across the country increase capacity in thousands of schools by successfully delivering millions of evidence-based professional learning lessons to their educators and staff members.
See you next Saturday!
Damon

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